Learning mom

There’s so many things to learn in life. From the day you are born till the day you die, you’re never too old to learn something new. They say you can be in a relationship for 60 years and still fond out new things about your partner when they pass away. I believe it’s the same with life… You can live one hundred years and still learn something new nearly every day. I see that in my day to day life teaching my parents new things, teaching my friends new things…

Learning new things myself and most importantly teaching my daughter new things. Where do we stop? Like we never stop learning and passing on lessons but where does it stop, we chose everything so can we chose what we learn. I mean sometimes we learn things unintentionally but even those can be blocked or pushed to the back of our memory.

Yes… we will learn till the day we die but we can definitely chose what we learn as a learning mom i believe we should learn things that water our gardens (minds) that way we can teach our children good things and give them a positive up bringing. If we poison our gardens we will definitely see it in the way our children grow up. After all we build the foundation for our children’s future 💜

Innocent eyes

Play date 2019

Ever noticed how kids can have so much fun doing small things? How they always have a smile on their face for no reason?

The reason is simple… Innocent eyes don’t know what the world is capable of displaying before them. Innocent eyes see no faults. Innocent eyes haven’t seen as much as we have. Innocent eyes need to still experience life.

Kids don’t see colour as a problem, they don’t see right or wrong, they don’t see heartfelt pain (they shouldn’t anyway). They see the world as exciting, a little scary, but mostly exciting. They see opportunity, the see a beautiful place to journey.

If you see life through the eyes of a child you will;

Love a little more

Worry a little less

Perhaps see a more beautiful world

Try a little more

Give up a little less

But we don’t because our eyes are no longer innocent, our minds are no longer pure and we have corrupted our souls with hate, jealousy, anger, revenge, selfishness, hurt and so many other negative energies. We have surrounded ourselves in a materialistic lifestyle and forgotten about our wonderful word. Pour choices and corrupt minds have poisoned our universe so much we don’t see the beauty anymore.

Positive Mom

Sometimes you have to take time out of your mom life to make time for yourself. I have started a self awareness journey to find myself and rid myself of negative energies.

Along the way i have hit an obstacle and needed to take a break just to allow the energies to flow at its own pace. To allow the presence of the obstacle and to make it known that it is there but it will not stop me in my journey.

Its going to be a long road with many more obstacles, however its going to be worth it. I will be the best version of myself for my daughter and i will become a positive mom💛💡

Are you the best version of yourself?

As a parent you always want what is best for your child, from foods and toys to friends and influential factors. We are always trying to do the best for them and make sure they have the best experiences along with the best things to explore and grow with.

What if we are not the best version of ourselves? We are, then, not the best for our child ourselves. Sure we go through hard times and we fall, sometimes harder than other times but its how we get up that shows who we are as a person. There was once a picture trending on Facebook that said “If your ex was on fire what would you use to put them out with?” How you answer that question shows character because, although that person caused harm to you, revenge isn’t going to change the past or change the pain you felt. Also that person is a human too no matter what they have done and they too deserve a chance at life.

So looking at ourselves i believe we should always ask ourselves this question (but there’s differnt to ask it)

1. If you have a daughter (Mother) are you happy for your daughter to become exactly the same as you? If not you are not the best version of your self nor the best role model.

2. If you have a daughter (Father) are you happy with her bringing home a guy exactly like you? If not you are not the best version of yourself nor the best role model.

3. If you have a son (Mother) are you happy with your son bringing home a girl just like you? If not you are not the best version of yourself nor the best role model.

4. If you have a son (Father) are you happy with your son becoming the same person you are today? If not you are not the best version of yourself nor the best role model.

I believe that if you can answer any of those questions with a yes (without hesitation) Then you definitely are a great role model for your child and living the best version of yourself. With that being said if you are not living the best version of yourself it is okay, it is okay to not be okay but you can’t let life knock you down forever.


Trying to make it as a single Mom

Three days of red spots, fever coming and going. a trip to two different doctors and finally a referral to a paediatrician. two trips to the hospital, turned away at first because medical aid doesn’t cover two general practitioners in one day.

Day three after borrowing money twice just to drive out to the hospital, turned out to be an allergic reaction to cinnamon 😢😢😢😢 After an hour at the hospital, discharged with R500 worth of meds at the worst possible time of the month. 😴

R200 spent driving up and down to the hospital and not a cent from dad, momma bear has laid out money, tears, nerves only to have papa bear say “what are you going to do” instead of trying to help me im left alone, to fend for my baby and get her her meds all by myself… Then i get told im the one being unfair and he keeps throwing me with 50/50 this and 50/50 that… Where the hell is the 50/50 in this, wits end barely sleeping and so stressed out trying to make it as a single mom. 😇

Cake Smash – Energy Dash

You see so many cute photos of babies celebrating their first birthday through a cake smash. For those who don’t know what that is, its basically exactly that. The baby (now toddler) sits by a cake and smashes it, eats it and throws it while you pay photographers to capture the moment … well that’s what is meant to happen anyway.

I got to experience this exciting adventure. We got the privilege of working with amazing photographers, very exciting and passionate about their work and baby really opened up out of her bubble (for a few moments anyway) its fun we got a small family shoot, cake smash and then a bath shoot afterwards. The photos were great from the sneak peak i was granted.


You walk into the studio with a cake and props (if you wish). Your energy level is sitting on 10, at its peak, knowing it can only go down, yet you don’t expect it to because, its not about you really, its a cake smash for the little one … Not you … During the family shoot your baby is adjusting to the environment and you find it hard to get her to be camera ready. Half way or nearly at the end of he family shoot your baby starts getting very familiar with whats going on and is comfortable being with you and having photos taken. Your baby starts crawling away and jumping up and down laughing and joking having a blast😆. Then they start crashing, slowly but hard… Now you trying to keep them from crashing, trying to keep them still and happy while the photos are still going on knowing that there are still 2 stages left. 😴 Your energy drops when they get excited cause now you trying to keep them still. Now your energy is sitting on about 9 which isn’t a major drop. During the crashing phase your energy starts dropping even more. At the end of the crashing phase when the photographer is happy with their photos your energy level sits on about 7. Now its time for the cake smash, the photographer starts putting in background props and now you have to keep your baby happy when they really are tired of this whole thing.

You go into stage 2, the actual cake smash, with an energy level of 6… Not even half way down yet but you can definitely feel a difference. The cake smash is baby on their own, if your baby is like mine she doesn’t like being on her own for long. The photographer tells you The moment your baby wants to be picked up you go in and play with the cake, not picking her up because it ends the whole session. You think okay this might happen a lot, well it did. i jumped in a lot to get her to chill out, she didn’t even smash the cake at all. well not how i imagined it anyway…

half way through the cake smash you’re thrown in to help play with her and the cake, Your energy levels now drop all the way down to 4 and you start crashing. A few moments later we try to get the baby to be okay by herself again and by now the day is over for her, you get up and here begins the final stage. The bathing stage was the easiest and most fun, the baby splashes and has a blast then the baby gets out and starts to fuss, Now we start cleaning up and getting our stuff to go.

Now you have a tired baby and an hour and a half gone, getting to the car takes another 1 off your energy level and then you eventually get into the car and begin to leave. The car ride home is calming and relaxing then you start understanding why babies sleep in cars and your energy level is already sitting on 3. You get about 2 minutes away from home and you start crashing hard, your energy level takes a plunge and by the time you get home you are sitting on 1. Barley functional but happy, your baby passes out and then you’re left to carry on with almost no energy.

And thats behind the scenes of a cake smash♡ Although it is extremely fun

Lost in Motherhood

As a young first time mom i devote almost all my time to being a mom. I run my own company and I’m able to schedule work around baby’s daily routine. I find it hard to make dates to meet up with friends and go on dates so moving on from my last relationship is nearly impossible.

I spend my days running after my crawling baby, watching cartoons, cuddling and feeding. Getting sick on and changing a bum about10 times a day. Exploring new foods and textures to the touch. Playing in the garden and playing in the house. My baby has taken over my room.

Her room is more full than mine. My room has more of her stuff than mine. I take breaks when my mom helps me out and even then I’m just a stone throw away ready to jump in and help at any time. I am lost, not the bad kind of lost and not the kind of lost where i need to be found. I’m lost in Motherhood, some people say its not good because i need time for myself but when the cuddles are gone and the toys are packed away, when my baby is not so small anymore, when the scribbles are replaced with science and algebra, when the house’s silence becomes deafening. Thats when i will take my time, right now i want to keep getting lost deeper and deeper in Motherhood ♡

How to mom


A question without a sentence. How do you get up every morning? Well your body realises that it does not need to rest any longer and your brain tells your body to get up. How do you remember to do things? You do the same thing over and over and your brain tells you to do it again for example bathing or brushing your teeth.

How do you ‘mom’

Well im still figuring that out. Ive mastered how we wake up and why we go to sleep, how our brain remembers things and why our brain forgets things. However how to mom… so far I’ve mastered that your instincts are strong as a mom but not at first. For me i didn’t bond instantly with my baby, i nearly died on the operating table and my baby was wheeled out of theatre, being a mom never came to me in hospital. I was able to leave my newborn baby with my visitors and do my own thing, it didn’t really hit me that my baby was born and i was a mom.

A few days of being at home it hit me all at once and then i knew i had become a mom. A great movie I’ve watched 100 times has a great quote that reads: i fell in love with him like you fall asleep, slowly and then all at once. Well thats how motherhood hit me. So far my journey has been a roller coaster, Ive learnt that cries are different and mean different things. Different foods have different reactions. The cold makes babies pee a lot. The older they get the more active they get. A few odds and ends here and there but being a mom well the best and biggest thing I’ve learnt is nobody knows how to mom because everyone does it differently and its probably the only thing you can’t google an answer for. ONLY YOU MOM KNOW HOW TO MOM WITH YOUR BABY

Bad boyfriend vs bad father

we make decisions based experience, but do we ever think about if our current situation is the same as our past experiences?

We are so quick to state a problem in a new situation when we experienced something similar before. I am guilty of this, my ex and i didn’t work out for numerous reasons but mainly because he didn’t love me the way i wanted him to. In my mind he didn’t love me at all… who was i to say that, perhaps he did love me but in his own special way. Perhaps him moving on after i chose to end things was his way of finding closure and mending himself.

I missed him. I missed us. Even after i chose to end us… why? Because you only miss someone or something when it/they are no longer around. While i was busy missing him i told him to come around and see our daughter, for her and him to bond and for me to see him more. When all of that changed and he started coming around less and less i started to resent him, maybe it was because he was seeing our daughter less or maybe it was because i still missed him.

I started thinking he was a bad father and even went to court to order supervised visitation i was so confident that i was right and he was wrong and he was a bad dad. The courts then told me there is no real problem and i am ordered to give him visiting rights and it was hard to grasp at first but then i started thinking… perhaps he was just a bad boyfriend, never around, aggressive and didn’t love me like i wanted him too but not a bad dad. Perhaps he only really missed his daughter when he was gone.

A spiritual pregnancy

One of the most important things of being pregnant is being calm. Not just calm, remaining stress free and being happy at the same time. I use meditation, there is no wrong or right way to meditate but I try to follow my own homemade programme. Before starting a meditation you must remember to be calm and relaxed. You also need to want this 100%. Find a quiet place. Relax. Take a deep breath in slowly. Release all the negative energies. And begin